Passage: 1 Corinthians 13:1-6

The Big Idea

Love is greater than every spiritual gift. Without it, tongues, prophecy, knowledge, faith and even radical sacrifice amount to nothing. The love Paul describes is agape: self-giving love that gives without demanding anything back. It isn’t something we work up on our own. It’s Christ living in us and loving through us, showing up in patience and kindness, and refusing envy, pride, rudeness, selfishness, irritability, grudges and delight in wrong.

Do We Even Know What Love Is?

There are reportedly millions of songs written about love. But do we really know what it is?

When people were asked to describe love, some of the answers were:

“It’s when you can pass gas freely around someone.”
“It’s buying the extra-thick cookies-and-cream milkshake you’ve been craving all day, and when your significant other drops theirs, you give them yours.”
“A term that means zero in tennis.”
“Love is bacon. Bacon is love.”

Let’s see what Paul says.

Without Love, Nothing (1 Corinthians 13:1-2)

If Paul speaks in the tongues of men and of angels but doesn’t have love, he’s just a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If he has the gift of prophecy and understands all mysteries and all knowledge, and if he has faith that can move mountains, but doesn’t have love, he is nothing.

Love is more important than all the gifts of the Spirit.
Love is the greatest gift.
A heart of love is the greatest gift we can receive. Seek that gift.

Four Greek words for love

The ancient Greeks had several words we translate “love,” and Paul chose one very carefully.

Eros: romantic or sexual love (where we get “erotic”).
Storge: family love, the natural affection between parents and children or relatives.
Philia: the warm love of close friendship and partnership.
Agape: the word Paul uses here. A self-giving love that doesn’t change, that gives without demanding or expecting repayment.

Agape:

can be given to the unlovable and unappealing,
keeps loving even when it’s rejected,
gives because it loves, not in order to get something back,
is sacrificial and giving, able to absorb hurt,
has less to do with emotion and much more to do with setting self aside for the sake of another.

God is love (1 John 4:8). He loves His whole creation, and He’s always giving.

So when we read this chapter, we shouldn’t think Paul is just saying, “If you’re unfriendly, your life means nothing.” Agape isn’t mere friendliness. It’s self-denial for the sake of someone else.

But Isn’t Love Just Sacrifice? (1 Corinthians 13:3)

So if I just do self-sacrificing things, I’m all good?

If Paul gives away everything he owns to feed the poor, and even gives his body to be burned, but has no love, it gains him nothing.

Many Christians think the Christian life is all about sacrifice: giving up your money and your life for the cause of Christ. Sacrifice matters, but without love it’s useless.
Sacrifice isn’t the best measure of someone’s spiritual life. Love is.
Pride and self-focus ruin even our most sacrificial deeds. Our sacrifices don’t count for anything if we’re trusting in our sacrifices.
Love can never be focused on me.
(How many times does Scripture actually command us to love ourselves? It assumes we already do, Ephesians 5:29.)

Everything in verses 1-3 is good. Tongues are good. Prophecy, knowledge and faith are good. Sacrifice is good. But love is so valuable that without it, every other good thing is useless.

When we focus too much on what we do, we forget that we do what we do because of who we are. We’re loved, and we love others, because that’s our identity in Christ.

So how do we know what love is? If only there were a simple, perfect description we could read at every wedding… and then ignore for the rest of our marriages.

Two Things Love Is (1 Corinthians 13:4)

Love is patient and kind.

Paul isn’t describing how love feels. He’s describing how it can be seen in action. True love always shows itself by what it does. Don’t just say you love me. Show me.

Patient (longsuffering)

“I’ll keep loving you even when you don’t deserve it, or when you hurt me or annoy me.”

I’ll treat you the same, no matter how many times you fall short.
No matter how many times you reject me.
No matter how many times you act unloving toward me.

If God’s love is in us, we’ll show patience to the people who annoy and hurt us.

Kind

“I’ll treat you in the way that’s best for you, not the way I think you deserve or the way I feel.”

I’ll respond with kind words and actions instead of reacting from my feelings or my self-protective strategies.
Love is gentle, considerate and compassionate. It seeks the good of others and acts in ways that help and support them.
Paul says God will show us, for all the ages to come, the incomparable riches of His grace expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2:7).
This kindness isn’t something we muster up on our own. It’s the result of Christ living in us and expressing His love through us.

Eight Things Love Is Not (1 Corinthians 13:4-6)

Love doesn’t envy, doesn’t boast, isn’t proud, isn’t rude, isn’t self-seeking, isn’t easily provoked, keeps no record of wrongs, and doesn’t rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.

1. Love doesn’t envy

Envy compares itself to others and resents their blessings or talents. “What they have should be mine.” “I wish I had their life.”

2. Love doesn’t parade itself

Love can work anonymously. It doesn’t need the spotlight to do a good job or to be satisfied. It gives because it loves to give, not for the praise it gets from showing off (Matthew 6:1-4).
Sometimes the people who seem to work hardest at love are actually furthest from it. They do things that look loving, but in a way that puts themselves on display. That isn’t love. It’s pride seeking glory by looking loving.
Don’t just say “I love you.” Just be loving all the time.

3. Love isn’t puffed up

To be puffed up is to be arrogant and self-focused, to have a big head. Love doesn’t get a swelled head. It focuses on the needs of others.
No one who’s worried about their position, standing, title or attention is really walking in love.

4. Love isn’t rude

Love has good manners:

It doesn’t rush people.
It doesn’t insult.
It doesn’t laugh at others’ expense.
It doesn’t make jokes about people it doesn’t like.

5. Love doesn’t seek its own

Paul says the same thing elsewhere: outdo one another in showing honor (Romans 12:10), and look out not only for your own interests but also for the interests of others (Philippians 2:4). That’s being like Jesus in the most basic way: being others-centered instead of self-centered.

6. Love isn’t easily provoked

Love is unoffendable:

by their sin,
by their lack of understanding,
by their hatred,
by their differences.

We all find it easy to get irritated with people who are just plain annoying. But getting provoked isn’t love. Even Moses was kept out of the Promised Land after he lost his temper with the people (Numbers 20:2-12).

7. Love keeps no record of wrongs

Literally, love doesn’t keep a ledger of the wrongs done to it. Love puts away past hurts instead of clinging to them.
One writer described a culture where it was customary for each man to keep reminders of his grudges hanging from the roof of his hut, to keep the memory of every wrong alive, real or imagined. Most of us do the same thing in our hearts.
It also means not assuming the worst about people’s motives.

8. Love doesn’t rejoice in wrongdoing

What makes a heart of love rejoice? Not sin.
Sin will never make your born-again heart happy.
But the truth will.

The Truth That Makes Us Rejoice

What is the truth of the gospel that makes us rejoice? It’s the good news of Jesus Christ and His finished work on the cross. It centers on the grace of God and the salvation offered to everyone through faith in Jesus.

Jesus is the Son of God. He came to earth, lived a sinless life, and revealed God’s love and truth to humanity (John 1:14; 3:16).
Salvation is by grace through faith. It’s a gift from God, not something we earn. It’s received by grace through faith in Jesus (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Jesus died and rose again. He died on the cross to take away the sins of the world and rose from the dead, conquering sin and death. That gives forgiveness and eternal life to all who believe (1 Corinthians 15:3-4; Romans 5:8).
We have new life in Christ. Believers are new creations. The old is gone, and a new life has begun, marked by relationship with God and the indwelling Holy Spirit (2 Corinthians 5:17; Romans 8:9-11).
We’re secure, united with Christ. Once we’re in Christ, we’re secure in Him. Nothing can separate us from His love, and we’re forever united with Him (Romans 8:38-39; John 10:28-29).

The gospel isn’t about religious rituals or human effort. It’s about trusting the finished work of Jesus. It’s the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes (Romans 1:16).

And love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:7). Love never fails.

Grace Takeaway

You can have every gift and do every sacrifice and still miss the point. Love is the point. Not love you manufacture, but the patient, kind, self-giving love of Christ living in you. Receive His love, and let it flow out to the people around you.

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What Is Love?