Passage: Genesis 20

The Big Idea

Abraham, after years of walking with God, fell into the very same lie he’d told in Egypt: “She’s my sister.” Victory over sin doesn’t come through knowledge, experience or effort, only through surrender to the Spirit. Yet God protected His promise even from Abraham’s foolish choices. Like Abraham and Sarah, we can forget we’re “married.” We’re the bride of Christ, and the call is to remember our first love.

A Broken Heart

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).

Why does God love to be near the brokenhearted? Probably because He knows exactly how they feel.

Anyone who’s had a broken heart knows it’s more than an emotion. It’s physical pain.

John records that when a soldier pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, blood and water flowed out (John 19:34). Some medical writers who have studied the crucifixion suggest this points to Jesus’ heart giving way under the crushing strain, building from His anguish in the garden, where His sweat was like drops of blood, through the rejection of His disciples and people, to the cross itself, where He bore the Father’s wrath against sin.

In a very real sense, Jesus died of a broken heart.

Jesus told the church in Ephesus that He had one thing against them: they had abandoned the love they had at first (Revelation 2:4).

Jesus loves you. That’s what this is all about.
And if you or I abandon that relationship of love, it breaks His heart.

Abraham Lies Again (Genesis 20:1-2)

Abraham moved south and lived between Kadesh and Shur, staying for a while in Gerar. There Abraham said of Sarah his wife, “She is my sister.” And Abimelech king of Gerar sent and took Sarah.

How was this ninety-year-old woman such a hot commodity?

Some suggest the real reason was political. In the ancient world, kings would do almost anything to gain an advantage. Royal marriages were often alliances, a way to bind yourself to a powerful family. And who was Sarah connected to? Abraham, the richest man around, a man everyone wanted to be on good terms with.

Seen that way, the situation looks even worse. Abraham had already set up the “sister” story (Genesis 20:13). He seems willing to sell out his wife for a bit of protection and advantage.

Instead of trusting God, Abraham turned fleshly.
Instead of keeping his family together, he was willing to separate what should never be separated.
He was more interested in protecting himself than representing God to the world through his marriage. (Marriage is a huge megaphone of God’s love and grace to the world!)
He might have thought he was protecting his family’s position, but he was tearing his family apart.

And Sarah seemed to go along with it. Instead of trusting the Lord, they had a joint plan: “We’d be foolish not to play it safe, right?”

Where do blessings come from? Only God. So can God bless sin? No!

“But it was my only option!” No, you could have trusted the Lord.

Didn’t he learn his lesson?

Remember Pharaoh (Genesis 12)? Abraham probably did learn his lesson then. But just because he learned it back then, and even experienced victory afterward, doesn’t mean he would automatically do right later in life.

Our victory over sin doesn’t come through knowledge: “I’ve learned the secret!”
It doesn’t come through experience: “I’ve learned my lesson!”
It doesn’t come through effort: “I’ve learned how to give it my all!”
It only comes through the Spirit: “I’ve learned to be filled with Jesus.”

There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. The law of the Spirit of life has set us free from the law of sin and death. What the Law couldn’t do, weakened by the flesh, God did by sending His own Son and condemning sin in the flesh, so that the righteous requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Those who live by the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live by the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit (Romans 8:1-5).

Being yielded, surrendered, to the Spirit is the only way to escape sin’s domination. What great news! Nothing is required but surrender. Give up! Lay down! Give in, to the life of Jesus! Not my life, but His.

Spurgeon pointed out that the flesh is still there in the believer. He doesn’t walk after it, but it’s there, striving and warring, vexing and grieving, and it will be until he’s taken to heaven. It’s there as a foreign, hated force, but not with dominion over him. He doesn’t follow it, obey it, accept it as his guide, or let it drive him into rebellion.

How do I live this life?

What will I do today? What does Jesus want for me today? What would expand His kingdom? (We pray, “Your kingdom come,” right?)

A TV marathon, or pour out my life for someone? Maybe my family, or someone in my church family? Surrender.
Entertain someone, or disciple someone? Surrender.
Compete with someone, or comfort someone? Surrender.
A “me day,” or a kingdom day? Surrender.

John the Baptist said it perfectly: He must increase, and I must decrease (John 3:30).

His life pours into empty vessels, daily.

But there come days we want for ourselves, even after walking with the Lord a long time. Our flesh has been waiting patiently for its opportunity. That’s what we see in Abraham here.

“I’ve been doing great! Why can’t I have a little something I want? You can’t expect me to think about Jesus all the time, can You?”

That’s exactly what Jesus wants. He’ll give you His life, with endless power and victory, in exchange for yours. But you can’t have both. Which will it be?

Choose His life, and you enter the rest of God.

God Protects His Promise (Genesis 20:3-7)

God came to Abimelech in a dream at night and said, “You’re a dead man because of the woman you’ve taken; she’s a married woman.” Abimelech hadn’t gone near her. He said, “Lord, will You destroy an innocent nation? Didn’t he tell me, ‘She’s my sister’? And didn’t she say, ‘He’s my brother’? I did this with a clear conscience and clean hands.” God said, “Yes, I know you did this with a clear conscience, and I kept you from sinning against Me. That’s why I didn’t let you touch her. Now return the man’s wife, for he is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you will live. But if you don’t, you and all yours will surely die.”

Why was it such a big deal for God to step in?

Because His promise was at stake. He couldn’t let even Abraham mess it up.
When God makes a promise, He defends it, even against our foolish choices.
Sarah’s womb was going to bring forth the son of promise, and eventually the Messiah. God wasn’t leaving that up to man!

Abraham, a prophet?

This is the first time the word “prophet” appears in the Bible. It means a spokesman, someone who speaks for God.

God chose a flawed man to be His spokesman? All the prophets of the Old Testament were flawed. Their message was always partial at best. That just isn’t good enough. God needed a better messenger, a perfect representation, a flawless spokesman.

Enter Jesus! Long ago God spoke to our fathers in many times and ways through the prophets, but in these last days He has spoken to us by His Son, whom He appointed heir of all things, and through whom He made the world (Hebrews 1:1-2).

That’s what God needed: His own Son speaking to the world.
Everything God has ever wanted to say is said in Jesus Christ.
Let everyone who thirsts for the living God come near and listen: to the words of God, recorded in the Word of God, foretelling and revealing the Son of God.
The fact that God speaks to us means He considers us worth a conversation. He wants us to hear Him. He could have stayed hidden. But He chose to speak, reveal and explain.

“What Have You Done to Us?” (Genesis 20:8-13)

Abimelech got up early and told his servants everything, and they were terrified. Then he called Abraham and said, “What have you done to us? How did I wrong you, that you brought such great guilt on me and my kingdom? You’ve done things to me that should never be done. What were you thinking?” Abraham answered, “I thought, ‘Surely there’s no fear of God in this place, and they’ll kill me because of my wife.'”

This is how not to share the gospel with the world!

The fear of God was in Abimelech’s house that night. It was missing in Abraham.
He wasn’t being a light in the darkness, all because he chose to trust his own plans instead of the Lord.

Abraham added, “Besides, she really is my sister, the daughter of my father but not of my mother, and she became my wife. When God caused me to wander from my father’s house, I told her, ‘Show me this kindness: wherever we go, say of me, “He’s my brother.”‘”

Abraham tried to justify his lack of trust in God.
You can always find a way to justify not trusting God. There’s always another option. It takes a humble heart not to go looking for ways to accomplish things in the flesh.

“God caused me to wander”

Here’s the final, most terrible failure of Abraham’s heart: he blamed God.

Donald Grey Barnhouse noted that the Hebrew word Abraham used for “wander” is never used in a good sense in Scripture. It describes animals going astray, a drunk staggering, people being seduced or led into error. Of all the words Abraham could have used, he chose the worst one.

Barnhouse imagined what Abraham should have said: “Forgive me, Abimelech, for dishonoring both you and my God. My selfish cowardice overwhelmed me. I denied my God by fearing that He who called me couldn’t take care of me. He isn’t like your gods of wood and stone. He is the God of glory, the living God, the Creator, God Most High, Possessor of heaven and earth. He promised to be my shield and my exceedingly great reward. In sinning against Him, I sinned against you. Forgive me.”

Restored, but Ashamed (Genesis 20:14-18)

Abimelech gave Abraham sheep, cattle and servants, returned Sarah to him, and invited him to live wherever he liked in his land. To Sarah he said, “I’m giving your brother a thousand pieces of silver. This vindicates you before everyone with you; you are cleared.” Then Abraham prayed to God, and God healed Abimelech, his wife and his female servants so they could have children again, because the LORD had closed every womb in Abimelech’s household because of Sarah.

Abimelech rebuked Abraham by treating him according to his lie. He pointedly called Abraham her “brother,” not her husband.
They were ashamed of their relationship. It didn’t have to be that way.

Jesus said that whoever is ashamed of Him and His words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of when He comes in His Father’s glory (Mark 8:38).

We can’t trade our relationship with God for an easier life. You’re the bride of Christ, engaged to Jesus!

Faithfulness to Jesus is like waiting for your wedding day and not sleeping around.
Whenever we give our hearts to something other than God, we’re committing spiritual adultery during our engagement.

Paul told the Corinthians he was jealous for them with a godly jealousy, because he had promised them to one husband, to present them as a pure bride to Christ (2 Corinthians 11:2).

Abraham and Sarah experienced shame in their relationship.
Jesus says some will experience shame when He returns.
Paul worked with all his heart to keep that from happening, by keeping believers focused on their relationship with Jesus, not a list of rules; on what Jesus did, not what we can do; on their real, living relationship with Him.

Abraham and Sarah should have been all about their marriage, their relationship. Anything else leads to shame.

Remember that you’re in love with Jesus. Stay focused on that relationship. Paul said it perfectly in the very next verse: he was afraid that, just as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, their minds would be led astray from simple, pure devotion to Christ (2 Corinthians 11:3).

Don’t forget you’re married! The Spirit is your engagement ring, the down payment of everything to come (Ephesians 1:13-14). Your heart can rejoice in His love and faithfulness every day. It’s all yours. Don’t forget. It’s that simple.

It’s about falling in love with Jesus every day, kind of like the movie 50 First Dates. And He gave us communion to help us remember. He took bread, gave thanks, broke it and gave it to His disciples, saying it was His body given for them, and to do this in remembrance of Him (Luke 22:19).

Let your heart remember its first love.

Grace Takeaway

Even a giant of faith can forget he’s married, when fear and the flesh take over. Knowledge, experience and effort won’t keep you; only surrender to the Spirit will. God protected His promise even through Abraham’s failure, and He’ll keep His promises to you. You’re the bride of Christ. Don’t trade that love for anything. Remember your first love, every day.

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