Passage: John 15:5

The Big Idea

The foundation of a godly home isn’t a parenting technique; it’s the parent’s relationship with Jesus. God told Israel to love Him with all their heart before He told them to teach their children. Our connection with Jesus is the only real source for raising kids. Most Christians focus on obeying and neglect abiding, but obedience is the by-product of abiding. Without Him, the old nature comes out fast with our kids. The solution for our families isn’t to love our kids more; it’s to love Jesus more.

Seek First

“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Matthew 6:33).

We need strength from Him daily for this job.
He sees your children as very important. Our kids are the future church.
We need His wisdom, guidance and power to lead our families.
If I don’t seek God, the old nature comes out so quickly with my kids.

Love God First (Deuteronomy 6:1-6)

Moses gave Israel God’s commands so that you, your son and your grandson may fear the Lord… that your days may be prolonged… that it may be well with you. “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words shall be in your heart.”

This is vitally important. Families are hurting, and it isn’t well with many of us.
Choose an intimate relationship with Jesus. Our hearts need to be filled with love for God and His Word.
Raising kids is directly connected to our relationship with Jesus. It’s our only true source.

Abiding Is the Key

“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).

If we want to honor God and raise godly children, we can only do it through Jesus.
Not “Jesus, please change my kids,” but “Jesus, change me first.”

Storms are coming. We’re laying the foundation of our homes right now. Your family is only as secure as the foundation it’s built on (Luke 6:46-49): saved, abiding, obeying.

A Spiritual Checkup

Give yourself an honest grade. Not to condemn yourself, but to see where you need His grace.

Have you given your life to Christ?
Abiding: your prayer life (Philippians 4:6).
Abiding: time in God’s Word. Think of how kids light up when a parent comes home, because they care about the relationship. Jesus explained things to His disciples when they were alone with Him (Mark 4:34). Do we come to Him that way (2 Timothy 2:15)?
Trusting: your giving. What does that have to do with kids? It’s not a salvation issue; it’s a trust issue. Are we trusting God with what He’s given us (Proverbs 3:9-10)?
Priorities: God, spouse, children, work, church, leisure and fellowship. Are they in order?
Fruit at home: read Galatians 5:22-23. Are your children seeing these things in you?

Any room for growth? Do we need to repent?

Obedience Flows from Abiding

Obedience is a by-product of coming to Jesus and hearing His words, of abiding in Him.
Most Christians focus on obeying but neglect abiding. It’s the connection with Jesus that gives the power to obey.
He gives grace for today. We need Him every day, like manna.

What’s the opposite? The flesh, and rebellion: doing things our own way, or rearranging what’s most important to suit us instead of God.

We think about rebellion in our children. But is it in us?
If we’re too busy to abide, we’ve got our priorities upside down. Love God first.

The erosion of a spiritual foundation begins with neglect.

Are your first thoughts each day on the Lord?
Do you daily acknowledge your need for Him?
Are you keeping your relationship with Him close and healthy?
Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap (Galatians 6:7).

Parenting Is Hard, and God Knows

There will be difficult trials and tough situations, and God knows about each one.

We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10).

Raising your kids is one of those good works. He planned it, and He’s with you in it.
Remember that when your kids do the most baffling things.

Since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same mind (1 Peter 4:1).

Get ready to suffer. Suffering is part of the job.
And it works for our good. It transforms us.
“Why?” isn’t the best question. Ask, “Lord, what do You want to change in me? What do You want me to do?”

Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience (James 1:2-4).

God uses our trials, our children’s seasons and their personalities to shape us, for our transformation and His glory.

God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Sometimes Jesus sends us into the storm. He has no problem giving you a challenging kid!
But Jesus is the answer to every overwhelming situation.

I’m not going to tell you the solution for our families is to love our kids more. It’s to love Jesus more. As a parent, the mainspring of our service isn’t our love for our children, but our love for Jesus.

Grace Takeaway

The strength of the foundation you raise your children on is directly related to the strength of your relationship with Jesus and your daily dependence on Him. God even uses our failures to help our kids grow. So don’t start with a plan; start with Him. It isn’t about the plan. It’s about the relationship with Jesus.

For Discussion

How do you abide in Jesus day to day? What helps you stay close to Him?
Where do you tend to justify your own flesh in your parenting?
How has God used your children to change you?

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Parenting 2: Abiding, the Parent’s Foundation